The Scary Dog

As I was adding some stray objects to my memory box, I came across a book of poems I had written when I was about nine. Most of them are absurd attempts at philosophical or sentimental genius, neither of which I possessed at that time (or have acquired in the ten intervening years!). Hence, what was meant to be taken seriously is now comic. However, my only intentional attempt at comic poetry was amusing enough to include here -- keeping in mind, of course, the age of the author!

Note: for the full effect, the poem should be read aloud in the most dramatic tone possible.


The Scary Dog

There’s a scary dog that lives next door,
He’s just an oversized egg-na-ma-roose.
That great big sniffling maniac,
He looks just like a great big moose.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not scared,
I just want to warn you about the dog.
That great big sniffling maniac,
He looks just like a great big hog.

He’s just a dog, but a little bit big,
There’s nothing really scary about that.
But that great big sniffling maniac,
Looks just like a jungle cat.

He’s the scary dog that lives next door,
And his barking really is quite poor.