One of Those Days

Late-night-flights for my husband, plus earlier-than-usual wake ups (Scout has figured out how to stand up in his crib, but can't get himself back down. Cue frustrated baby...) has left me feeling a bit like this lately:

So I'm moving at this pace:

It's also entirely possible that I look like that. Yikes.

Trying to embrace the changing seasons of life (though "Sleep Deprived" season seems to be here to stay for a while... *wink*)

Happy Monday, friends!

Da-Minion

Realizing that Little Man's collection of bibs was being quickly outgrown, I decided it was time for a new one. As a matter-o'-facto, I have never made him a bib in the 3+ years of his life. All of his current bibs were gifts from friends and family. 

And thus, I began to brainstorm a bib design. I wanted to do something fun, since Little Man is actually very fond of his bibs (each one has a "name," based on its design, and he gets to pick out which bib to use for dinner). 

It wasn't long before I came up with the perfect design:

A Minion bib, of course! Ironically, Little Man has never seen either of the "Despicable Me" films (and Pablo and I have only seen the first). He does, however, love watching clips of the Minions -- particularly the "Bee do" scene. And the Minions, with their crazy, mischievous antics, remind my husband and I strongly of our little people (especially their love of bananas!).

At any rate, I managed to pull out all the necessary "ingredients" from my stash -- denim for the bib (reminiscent of the Minions' overalls), tan terry for the backing, navy bias for the binding, yellow fleece for the minion, grey knit for the "goggle," black linen for the mouth, white cotton for the eye and teeth, and some black grosgrain ribbon for the goggle band. Even more miraculously, I actually had all the necessary thread colors. The design was easy enough to draft, since Minions are comprised of rather simple shapes.

And thus, I set to work. There was a lot of Wonder Under and applique involved. Lots and lots and lots of zigzag -- I really felt quite dizzy by the end. *wink* Quite honestly, once I started, I couldn't stop! It's a good thing my husband was out of town when I made this, because I didn't wrap up until well after midnight. 

I filled in the iris area with brown thread, and added a flat black button for the pupil. And, of course, a bit of black zigzag for some "hair."

Sadly, my camera was broken when I finished it, so the pictures you see here are post-laundering (i.e., not exactly pristine). And yes, I admit to photoshopping a spot of syrup on the eye! 

It was quite a fun, if rather involved, project. But my efforts were well rewarded -- Little Man has picked this bib for every single meal since I made it. So much for increasing his bib collection! 

Anger Management

Somehow, February and March slipped away from me. I've good reason (involving a job change and an airport, as I'll elaborate on soon), but nonetheless, April is already here! I'm actually enjoying the spike in temperature, and the opportunity to pull out my summer clothes.

But while I'm gearing up to post about recent happenings and projects, here's a quick snapshot from the airport in Providence, Rhode Island (that's a hint, by the way). Apparently this is a new form of anger management...

And now it's time to go work on my backload of laundry! 

Parlay Voo Fronsay?

I just can't take it anymore. I really can't. And it seems like it's all over the Internet, lurking around every blog post:

Viola.

Don't get me wrong. I love violas, both this kind and this kind.

What I don't love is reading something to the effect of:

"Snip your threads, and viola! You're done!"

I speak almost no French, having taken just a smattering in my grade school days. I am not a multilingual snob, nor do I expect other non-French speakers to be experts in a language not their own. But the butchery of this poor word really must come to an end.

Switch the "i" and the "o" and Voila!  Vwa-lah. Ah yes, that's the word we're looking for!

And while we're on the subject, there's another French faux pas lurking on the Internet. The worst of it is, it's not even supposed to be French! I've got you wondering, right? So without further adieu...

*cough*

Did you spot it?

Without further adieu would roughly translate to "without any more goodbyes." What we're really after here is without further ado, meaning, "without any more delay." Pronunciation may be similar, but that's where the similarity ends.

Ah, how nonchalantly we trample our poor, defenseless idioms. Yes, I do realize idioms have no feelings. But perhaps if we pretended that they did, we'd be far less glib about mauling them. Just today I saw case and point on a blog. I swallowed hard and tried to move on, but it's still bugging me.

Am I far too distressed about something that's ultimately of little consequence in the scheme of things? Absolutely. I totally acknowledge that. But really, a little respect for proper usage goes a long way.

Anyone want to recommend a good psychiatrist? Or perhaps I'll just re-read Eats, Shoots & Leaves to restore some equanimity to my battered grammatical soul.


P.S. -- Perhaps I should make it clear that I'm not (quite) as psychotic as this post might suggest, nor am I some embittered grammarian with perfect capitalization and punctuation. But I do enjoy a satisfying grammatical rant now and again, and you, dear reader, are lucky enough to be my audience. Assuming you've made it this far...

The State of the Nayshun

Things like this?



They make me worry.

The Infant's Guide to Parental Development

Congratulations, and Welcome to the World! As the proud owner of a bran-new set of parents, you probably have a lot of questions. One of the most pressing questions you have probably centers on the topic of parental development -- and well it should. After all, you carry a lot of responsibility on your tiny shoulders. Without you, the two adults you have wrapped around your itty bitty finger just won't mature into functional, well-balanced parents.

The AAP (American Academy of Parentology) makes it clear that parents develop at different rates, so don't worry if your parents seem a little behind compared to your friends' parents. Here is a list of basic developments that you can expect to see take place within the first few months of your life, and how you can help your parents achieve these goals.

1. Dark Circles Under the Eyes
1-2 weeks

These dark circles are one of the first important developments for parents. A sure sign of sleepless nights, dark circles guarantee that your parents on the right track. You can expect to see them within a week of your birth, though some parents might develop them a little sooner if your entrance into the world was particularly difficult or prolonged. If you haven't noticed any discoloration in the eye area (or bags under the eyes at the very least) by four or five weeks, you are probably not crying enough in the middle of the night. You can try setting your internal alarm to one-hour intervals through the night for several days, and see if your parents' condition improves.


2. Rocking and Bouncing
2-5 weeks

Every experienced parent (especially the female variety) will be quite familiar with the "Rocking and Bouncing" technique within several weeks. This is a valuable skill for them to learn, especially since you will find it quite soothing when you're fussy. Some parents catch on to this skill very quickly, and will even sway gently when someone else is holding you. If you see this, congratulate yourself -- your parents are developing nicely!

3. Weight Loss
2-4 weeks

New parents are notorious for putting on or just keeping baby weight (both moms and dads), so you can help out in this vital health-related area. Make sure you keep your parents' food intake down by frequently interrupting their meals. In order to do this, note when they sit down to eat and start screaming vigorously as soon as the first forkful makes its way into their mouths. In fact, you may need to cry during meal prep, too, just to make sure that they don't try to put you down for a nap in another room (in which case it's harder -- but not impossible -- to tell when they've started eating). A constant diet of cold food will likely curb your parents' appetites, thereby helping their BMI considerably.


4. Muscle Development
2 weeks-indefinite

For your parents to experience optimal health, they need to work out. However, most parents with a new baby in the house don't have time to hit the gym. Good news -- you can help! Two important muscular areas that need to develop are legs and arms. To work out the legs, wait until your parents have just seated themselves before making distinct hunger signs. They will stand up again and come over to you, at which point you can cease your hunger signals. As soon as they sit down, repeat the procedure. You should do at least ten reps every few hours. The repetitive rising and sitting will be great for their thighs. As for arms, when they've just put you down somewhere you should start crying inconsolably. As soon as they pick you up, cry for a few moments before calming down. When they set you back down (this works best when they have something they really need to do), wait a few seconds and start crying again. Again, ten reps every few hours should do the trick for those biceps. Careful attention to your parents' muscular condition will pay off as you gain weight.

5. Rapid Reflexes
3-5 weeks

This skill is critical in any parent. By the third week of your life, your parents should be able to catch you (and potentially another falling object...or two) within milliseconds. Some parents are slow to catch on with this one, but you can quickly bring them up to par by throwing yourself backwards while they're holding you. Before trying this training method, though, you should take your parents' cardiac condition into account -- many parents' hearts will race if you throw yourself backwards, so doing it too often may end up in a visit to the emergency room.


6. Singing Off-Key
3-6 weeks

Parents will often take up singing in order to calm you down when you're stressed. While this singing is usually out of tune, squeaky, and totally pointless (as far as you're concerned), it is very important that parents learn this for their own benefit. Not only does it teach them to self-calm when you're screaming, but it also gives them a sense of achievement when you stop crying (not because you like the singing, of course, but because you're just done). If your parents don't pick up this skill naturally, see if you can get a friend or relative to sing to you -- if you stop crying, act enthralled, and smile, your parents will be more likely give it a try themselves.

7. Oblivion to Odor
4-6 weeks

This is a tough one for parents, and some parents may never develop in this area. You can gauge your parents' progress in this area by evaluating their behavior during diaper changes. Gagging, comments on smell, and facial distortions are signs that they have not yet learned to deal with odors. You can try to build their tolerance by upping the number of dirty diapers you produce, but don't be too concerned if progress is slow.


8. Functioning With Very Little Sleep
1-2 months

All parents must learn how to function on about half the sleep that a normal adult enjoys. This is one area of parental development that you must be vigilant about! If your parents are still acting groggy by the third or fourth week, it's time for you to step in and take some serious action. One of the best ways to do this is to wait until they've just gotten into bed and turned out the light. As soon as you sense that this has occurred, work up a scream that demands attention in no uncertain terms. This will bring them running, and the ensuing hour(s) they spend trying to calm you down will help them get used to their new (and permanent) sleep-deprived state.

9. Facial Mobility
2-3 months

Let's discuss another important developmental area: facial mobility. Once your parents see even the hint of a smile, they will respond! They will distort their faces into all kinds of unlikely expressions in order to coax a smile out of you. But don't make it too easy on them -- if you smile at their slightest expression, you risk stunting their growth. Their facial muscles need a full workout, so hold out on big smiles and laughter until they've really run the gamut of expression. This will also be quite amusing for you as you watch their ridiculous attempts -- but again, remember to hold back signs of amusement for a little while.


10. Babbling and cooing
2-3 months

It is essential that you help your parents develop their babbling and cooing skills as soon as possible, usually around 2-3 months. This is not a difficult task, since parents will readily imitate your behavior. If you show them by example how to make sounds like "goop," "erkuh," and "squee," there is a 99% chance that they will pick up this skill without any further difficulty. You can gauge their progress by the sounds they repeat back to you. If your parents are a bit slow in this regard, try upping the amount of sounds you make, and stick to basic sounds until they've got the hang of it.

With these simple steps, you can ensure that your parents reach their optimum potential! The investment you make now will pay off in the future. While each parent develops differently, this list will provide you with some basic skills to look for in those early weeks.

Glock Perfection

We're just a bit keen on Glock around here. So before our Little Man was born, I embroidered a little Glock onesie for him. Granted, he's a bit young to be handling a Glock! Or so we thought...

And then we took him to visit our favorite hometown gun store (they used to sell ice cream *and* guns back int he 50s, but for some reason that combination isn't as popular any more...). The employees -- which include the original owner's granddaughter and a very friendly ex-Marine with a superb moustache -- had seen him many times while he was still in "bump" mode, and were delighted with his infantile Glock loyalty. He was even presented with a tiny Glock 17 key chain by the store owner.

(We seriously need to work on basic gun safety rules with Little Man -- pointing it at his stomach? Not very smart! At least he doesn't have his finger on the trigger)

Let's just say we take the 2nd Amendment very seriously around here! *wink*




(Disclaimer: the key chain was used for supervised photographic purposes only, and we would never let an infant handle a real firearm. Just because I know there's someone out there who's wondering.)

A Brownie for Baby

My dear sister posted a humorous account of a recent visit, starring the newest (not to mention first) little son/grandson/nephew in our family.

And here it is, for your enjoyment!

A Cute Little Nephew Tale


Oh no, we're not infatuated. Why do you ask? *wink*

An Unexpected Guest

Recently, as I was busy preparing dinner, I indulged in my klutzy tendencies by dropping a knife between the cabinet and the stove. Yes, I am talented!

I pulled out the bottom drawer of our stove, hoping that there might be some way to extract the knife without having to pull out the whole range. And then I saw it.

It was small.

It was furry.

It had a tail.

Whatever it was, it certainly was not alive -- it looked a bit... well, flattened! You see, in the hustle and bustle of moving in, we had failed to clean under the stove. I called for Pablo and explained the situation. He produced a shovel, I found a cardboard box for disposal of the *thing,* and we tentatively approached the stove. Neither of us could figure out why the *thing* hadn't been smelling up the house.

After a prod or two, Pablo suggested that perhaps it was a stuffed animal. And only then did I remember that we had found proof of a former dog occupant on several occasions!

We pulled it out, only to discover that this was our mysterious *thing*:



Isn't it terrifying? Honestly, it looked much more sinister in the dark shadows under the stove!

We ended up pulling out the stove and cleaning behind it, a process that produced an ancient piece of dog kibble -- and a spoon I had dropped and forgotten about. Oops. *wink*

Ah, the little adventures of life!

Books!

"Books!" said Tuppence.

She produced the word rather with the effect of a bad-tempered explosion.

"What did you say?" said Tommy.

Tuppence looked across the room at him.

"I said 'books,'" she said.

"I see what you mean," said Thomas Beresford.

In front of Tuppence were three large packing cases. From each of them various books had been extracted. The larger part of them were still filled with books.

"It's incredible," said Tuppence.

"You mean the room they take up?"

"Yes."

"Are you trying to put them all on the shelves?"

"I don't know what I'm trying to do," said Tuppence. "That's the awkward part of it. One doesn't know ever, exactly, what one wants to do. Oh dear," she sighed.

~ The opening lines from Postern of Fate, by Agatha Christie ~



I do so love Tommy and Tuppence! My deepest apologies to sweet Miss Marple and clever Hercule Poirot -- but really, Tommy and Tuppence are Agatha Christie's dearest characters. And having recently finished sorting out all our own books, I can fully sympathize with their plight in Postern of Fate.

Yes, all of our books are finally sorted -- and we even managed to go through and weed out the ones that we really didn't need or want. Painful, certainly, but rather cathartic in a way. Really, how many copies of the same book can one have? I confess, I still have a few duplicates, though! Some books are just too beautiful to part with, but one must have a knock-about reading copy, mustn't one? At any rate, the only books left in boxes are children's books, neatly stacked in the nursery and awaiting one final bookshelf to end their imprisonment.

Best of all? Our diligence in getting rid of unneeded books has paid off in a bit of empty space on some of our shelves. Which means that I don't have to feel guilty when I take my inevitable browse through the bookshelves at every antique and thrift store. *wink*

As Tuppence would say, "Books!"

Because We All Need Cheering Up...

...and let's face it, Hugh Laurie is about the best way to do it!



I think Pablo and I have watched this about a dozen times in the past few days, and I still roll with laughter every time I see it!

I must warn you to avoid watching other "A Bit of Fry and Laurie" sketches. Unfortunately most of their material is far from suitable.

Historical Cuisine

Terrible, terrible things can happen when you decide to have dinner at 10:00 at night.

Especially if you're tired.

Especially if you're fond of history.

Especially if you're finishing off a bag of Potato Sticks and starting a bag of Tater Tots.



I blame it on Pablo -- he's the one who stands up his Tater Tots on the baking sheet. And well, when I saw those handy slabs of potato, the urge to recreate Stonehenge was too much to resist. So I didn't.



Who says you can't play with your food!

An Issue of Drainage

Well, we're safely moved in to our new home! As I look out the window I can see green -- lots and lots of green! -- and our little creek bubbling away at the bottom of the hill.



Of course, we're not completely settled yet. But we're getting there, one box at a time. How did we end up with so much "stuff," anyway? We've been busy fending off wasps, spiders, and bugs of various sorts (all of this "nature" comes with a price), but I think we're winning the battle. I think.

But none of that has anything to do with the title of this post, which is really meant to document our first real "homeowner" situation occurring yesterday at approximately 11:39 a.m.: The dreaded clogged kitchen drain. The "why are both sides of my sink spitting up disgusting remembrances of last week's lettuce?" type of clog. After optimistically running the disposal for a few minutes (the only result of which being even more gunk!), I left the sink alone until Pablo came home.

I informed him of the morning's events, and we both peered under the sink skeptically. We tried plunging the sink several times, hoping that it might force the clogged debris through the pipes. To no avail.

My brilliant husband determined that since there was an odor coming from the sink, the clog had to be before the curvy P-trap. With a bucket to catch any spills, he unscrewed the P-trap. And it was then that we discovered why the plunging didn't work -- no amount of plunging can force a table knife through a u-shaped P-trap! Various discoveries have left us to wonder about the previous homeowners, but this discovery left us with a better picture of their mental sanity (or lack thereof!). After the removal of the knife and a few more plunges, we once more have a clean, odorless drain.

What I'm still wondering? How they got that table knife down the drain in the first place...

Real Comfort

"There is nothing like staying at home for
real comfort."

~ Jane Austen, Emma ~

Many thanks to glamorous Maggy for graciously allowing me to take a snapshot of her. She owns a family that attends our church, and recently allowed me to come as "Substitute Servant" while her family was out of town. There's no doubt that this prissy feline is royalty -- she refuses to drink out of a waterbowl; instead she demurely dips a paw in and licks the water off to rehydrate herself!

Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle Has an Adventure

Once upon a time, not so very long ago, Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle decided to have an Adventure. She ventured out into Big Unknown, where the sky stretched big and blue overhead and the breeze ruffled her prickles.

Oh, the delights of freedom! Mrs. Tiggy-winkle enjoyed the feeling of grass under her paws. There were thousands of new aromas to smell -- and some boxes to sniff, too:



She scampered about, weaving around the various obstacles she found in her way. She bumped into golf clubs and climbed into shoes. She even made herself a nice little hammock in a pair of pants that were conveniently folded over a box.

But then she spied an enormous giant with a big black box held up to its face!



And being a rather timid little hedgehog, Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle decided to hide from the scary giant:



Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle was quite exhausted by her Adventure, and was happy to nestle down among the pine shavings in her little house. She decided that as exciting as Adventures can be, there really is no place like home for a wee little hedgehog.

~ The End ~


That's what happens when you bring a hedgehog out to a yard sale. By the way, do you have any idea how fast those little things run? They're quite athletic! They're also very popular with yard sale customers...

Words of Wisdom From Writers

Proofread carefully

to see if you any

words out.

~ Author Unknown ~

How *not* to Treat a Library Book

Perhaps one of the most ignored social problems in America is wanton library book abuse. From what I have observed, this problem is not limited to isolated areas where people-just-don't-know-any-better. No, my friends, this is a national epidemic!

You scoff? You say that it's really not as bad as all that? Ah, but I have the proof! Behold, how not to treat a library book:


1. Completely Rend the Spine:

This is completely unacceptable! Wholesale destruction of a sturdy hardcover copy of Wodehouse is just -- well, unacceptable! My only hope is that this happened while the reader was laughing uncontrollably, and hence cannot be held accountable for the crime.


2. Paint Your Nails While Reading



Seriously, this is not rocket science... At least it's a pretty shade of pink, and sparkles a little in the light!


3. Dog Ear the Pages



This is also known as "Too-lazy-to-find-a-bookmark-or-even-a-tiny-scrap-of-paper-to-mark-the-page."


4. Squash the Cockroach That Landed on Your Library Book With Your New Shoe

I plead guilty to this last crime. Yes, almost immediately after deciding to do this post -- having already soundly berated the past readers of this poor book -- a pesky cockroach landed on the cover and was quickly dispatched with my shoe. *shudder* My defense? The book was not harmed in any way.


And that, my friends, graphically illustrates the need for a campaign against library book abuse! I suggest gathering a group of friends, making some posters (perhaps with catchy slogans like, "No More Dog Ears!"), and standing outside your local library. Then, and only then, will library books have a chance to receive the respect they deserve. *dramatic music*

~ Note: No books were harmed in the making of this presentation ~

Rub a Dub Dub, Bubbles in the Tub

My sister was giving Mrs. Tiggy-winkle her bath the other night, and I couldn't resist taking a few snapshots! Tiggles is perfectly adorable 99% of the time, but I particularly love seeing her have her bath.



Unfortunately, Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle doesn't seem to enjoy the bathing experience (though some hedgehogs are quite fond of swimming!). She spends most of her time looking for the closest escape route. If you've never seen a hedgehog swim before, you're missing out!



There's just something adorable about wet whiskers and the "Please don't do this to me" look on her little hedgie face!

Love, Eskimo Style

Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle is a rather prickly niece,
but she gives the best Eskimo kisses!

Photo credit to my sister, Tiffany

Left Behind

You know the DMV is having problems when their cones are left out long enough to start sprouting:



Seriously, this poor little cone has been left by the side of the road for I-don't-know-how-long! I'm still trying to figure out how that insane plant was able to grow with its only light coming through the tiny hole in the top of the cone.

Maybe this is a new alternative to the chia pet!