A Year in the Psalms

I finished up my year-in-the-Psalms book in May. It was a bittersweet ending. Sweet, because I've  rarely summoned up the discipline to complete a year-long devotional commitment. Bitter, because as I neared the end I didn't really want it to end. When I started, I little guessed that the already-long-and-dark valley I was traveling would only grow longer and darker in the coming months. 

But God knew. It's no accident that I started this book when I did, after it had been languishing on my shelf for about a year (there were even a few entries from not one, but two failed attempts to start it). At the time, I knew that I needed to commune with Him, but I couldn't have known just how much I would need that communion in the coming year -- my heart already heavy with loss, I carried and grieved three more babies as I journeyed through those pages. 

God met with me in the Psalms. In the depths of my grief I began to understand lament, which had always seemed a bit foreign before. When I couldn't express the intensity of pain or praise, He gave me words. The Word.  When I would have lingered -- wallowed, even -- in the darkness, lines penned by divinely-inspired ancient poets drew my eyes back to His steadfast love, His faithfulness, His nearness. God met with them, too, when they traveled the darkest valleys of life. Their raw honesty resonated with my soul. Their passion for God and His law humbled me. 

As I neared the end, I knew that I wanted to keep reading the Psalms regularly. Much as I loved the little book that's been my companion through so much joy and grief, it's not ideal for re-use (and the way it was divided up was sometimes clumsy). I'm certainly not ready to part with this book yet, because it has all of my notes and reflections inside! But it was time to move on to something that would lend itself to years of study. I chose the ESV Psalms Illuminated Scripture Journal, which is both lovely and inexpensive. It has plenty of space for journaling, and the blank pages have a grid of faint dots so that you can write or illustrate neatly (this isn't an ad, by the by! I just love good books. *wink*). 

The Psalms have become a familiar and necessary rhythm in my life. Because unlike physical food that satiates as it's eaten, consuming God's Word leads to deeper cravings. The more I know Him, the more I want to know. There are so many facets of His character in the Psalms, glimpses of His glory like the rainbow hues cast by a prism. He's there when we're grieving and when we're rejoicing. He's there when we don't understand "why?" Always faithful, always loving. Always Himself. 

You have said, "Seek My face."

My heart says to You,

"Your face, LORD, do I seek."

Psalm 27:8

Joy

Joy

O Christ,

All Thy ways of mercy tend to and end in my delight.

Thou didst weep, sorrow, suffer that I might rejoice.

For my joy Thou hast sent the Comforter,

multiplied Thy promises,

shown me my future happiness,

given me a living fountain.

Thou art preparing joy for me and me for joy;

I pray for joy, wait for joy, long for joy;

give me more than I can hold, desire, or think of.

Measure out to me my times and degrees of joy, 

at my work, business, duties.

If I weep at night, give me joy in the morning.

Let me rest in the thought of Thy love,

pardon for sin,

my title to heaven,

my future unspotted state.

From The Valley of Vision

Beautiful

Our modern culture is obsessed with physical appearance. Ads, commercials, films -- it's difficult to escape the tidal wave of "beauty" as defined by the world. However, the standard of beauty that is presented is physically impossible for any human being to achieve; even the models and movie stars hired to "be beautiful" are subjected to the make-up chair and the airbrush. And let's face it: Photoshop can make anyone look gorgeous. Even my limited experience with photo editing has exposed me to techniques to enlarge eyes, redden lips, and eliminate blemishes (I'm occasionally guilty of that last one, since they're not "permanent" features. *wink*).

Our culture demands physical perfection -- flawless skin, perfect hair, and not a single extra pound (in fact, you should probably be underweight, because cameras make you look fatter). Some have rebelled against this impossible ideal by claiming that "real women have curves." Which seems hardly fair to women who are naturally skinny and may even be trying to gain weight -- aren't they real women, too, or are curvy hips somehow essential to womanhood?

I recently saw an ad produced by Dove, which I found quite interesting: Dove Real Beauty Sketches. I applaud their efforts to combat mainstream definitions of beauty (and their companion efforts to educate girls about how artificial and unrealistic advertising can be). However, in a sense, their focus is still superficial. "You are more beautiful than you think you are." That doesn't really challenge a "standard" of beauty -- it just makes us feel that we're closer to that standard (and consequently makes us feel better about ourselves).

But really, what is beauty? And who defines it?

Here's what the Creator of the Universe has to say about it:


~ Proverbs 31:30
"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

~ I Samuel 16:7
"But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." 


In other words, we're not supposed to be focused on our outward appearance. It's our inward beauty that God cares about! "Inner beauty" has become such a cliched concept. But as Christians, we realize that our outer shell is a temporary covering, while our souls are eternal.

~ 2 Corinthians 4:16
"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is renewed day by day." 


I saw a pin on Pinterest with a before-and-after photo of a woman. In the first photo, the woman looked normal (and quite pretty, in my opinion). In the second photo, extensive make-up had drastically changed her appearance. The caption under the photo read something like, "Amazing! She doesn't even look like the same girl!" And it was true. She looked like a totally different person.


~ Ephesians 2:10
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." 


I realize this passage in Ephesians is not talking about physical appearance, but I think it holds an important concept for the consideration of beauty. We are God's workmanship. He created us! Every detail is exactly as He planned. And while sin has brought flaws (don't we all love acne?), aging, and ultimately physical death, that doesn't change the fact that God knit us together in our mothers' wombs. If God made me the way I am, why would I want to entirely change the way I look?

We are beautiful not because we have perfectly proportioned faces, but because we are made in the image of God, and as Christians our hearts have been transformed by His love and grace.


~ 1 Peter 3:3-4
"Do not let your adorning be external -- the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear -- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."


I don't think the Bible is suggesting that it's sinful to braid your hair or wear jewelry (because, if you notice, clothing is included in the list -- so if hair braiding and jewelry are forbidden, so is clothing! *wink*). It's easy to fall into legalistic traps when we try to define exactly what is appropriate and apply it to every believer. Obsessing about the lack of external adornment is still obsessing about externals. Rather, the point is that we are to focus on our conforming our hearts to Christ, instead of trying to impress others by our physical appearance.

We will all come to different conclusions on what is appropriate. Some Christian women wear makeup and others wear none at all; some dye their hair while others let it go gray; some wear more jewelry than others; some wear nail polish while others don't; some wear Spanx while others don't fret about a bulge or two. We'll never all be the same, and that's part of the beauty of being in the body of Christ. For that reason, I'm not here to suggest that you should or shouldn't wear mascara. What I am here to suggest is that the Bible teaches that we should not focus on our physical appearance to the point that it becomes an idol.

What we can do is evaluate our hearts and our attitudes toward beauty. If I am trying to look like someone other than the person God made me to be, perhaps I need to reconsider my perception of beauty. If I am trying to perpetuate youthfulness in a desperate attempt to avoid growing old, perhaps I need to remember what the Bible says about aging. If I want to take drastic measures to reverse the changes that child-bearing has wrought in my body, perhaps I need to recall that God values life, and that Christ made the ultimate sacrifice of His body on the cross so that we could have life everlasting. Ultimately, if our hearts are truly fixed on Christ, we won't have the time or the desire to become obsessed with our bodies -- or with anyone else's.

We can also evaluate our attitudes toward other women, and sisters in Christ in particular (because, let's face it, we generally have higher expectations for those who share our beliefs). We will each find some humans more attractive than others, based on our own unique preferences. But let's look deeper and value people on something less superficial than a profile or a haircut.  Are we judging others based on their external beauty? Or perhaps even on how much makeup they wear (or don't wear)? Let's be gracious to one another, and realize that our opinions and convictions are not shared by all.

In our media-saturated world, it is increasingly challenging to ignore what the world says and focus on God's criteria for beauty. But we press on, with the encouragement that cultivating a gentle and quiet spirit is something that God prizes and cherishes. And if He is the only one on this earth who ever considers us beautiful, His is the the only opinion that truly matters!


You can find my theological disclaimer here.

The Not-So-Good Old Days

As a lover of history and literature, I have often longed for days gone by. I've dreamed of a time when things seemed simpler, better, and more wholesome. Although I would be loath to give up some of the conveniences of our modern era (does anyone else love running water and electricity?), the thought of a time when the only food available was organic and there were no iPhones has a distinct appeal.

But reading Ecclesiastes shifted my perspective a bit.

Do not say,

"Why is it that the former days 

were better than these?"

For it is not from wisdom 

that you ask about this.

~ Ecclesiastes 7:10 ~ 

Here is what 18th century theologian John Gill had to say about this verse:

"This is a common opinion, that in all ages prevails among men, that former times were better than present ones... Which, if rightly inquired into, or the true knowledge of them could be come at, it would appear that they were no better than the present; and that there were always bad men, and bad things done; frauds, oppressions, and violence, and everything that can be complained of now... [The inquirer should] not arraign the providence of God, and murmur at that, and quarrel with it; as if the distributions of it were unequal, and justice not done in one age as in another."

I find it interesting that glorifying the past is really a way of complaining that God has been better to others than He has to us.

And if "the good old days" were really better, one must assume that the human race has degenerated over time (hence the "not-so-good current days").

This quotation has been attributed to Socrates, and seems remarkably applicable to modern society:

“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”

Man is a fallen creature, and has been since the first sin in the Garden of Eden. Sin is the same now as it was then, and just as much of it is bound up in the human heart. And if doubt lingers, even a brief study of Genesis 19 should dispel it! I'm hard pressed to find a more sordid or sickening display of human depravity than what is recorded in that single chapter of the Bible.

But what about the Victorian era, with its morality and propriety? Or the 1950's, with its happy families and pearl-bedecked housewives? True, evil may be more blatantly displayed in our modern culture than it was then (although that is something that fluctuates by era, as even a brief study of history will reveal -- think of ancient Rome shortly before its fall, or even the Roaring 20's). It seems nothing is hidden now, no matter how inappropriate. But in one sense this is a great blessing.

How can I say that?

When all false social morality is stripped away, how much more does the light of the Gospel shine? The veneer of the Victorian age was just that -- a veneer. There were devout Christians then, just as there are now. But not all of those who followed societal norms of propriety were believers, and that means that their "good behavior" left them in the same place as those today who live in open sin. In human terms, it's actually harder to convince those that live a "good" life that they are dead in their trespasses and sins and are desperately in need of a Savior. Of course, it is the Holy Spirit that convicts the sinner of his sin, and He is no more hampered by our contemporary pop culture than by the Pharisaical "righteousness" of Victorian society.


The distractions of the modern world sometimes seem overwhelming, and I often blame them for my lack of concentration in spiritual matters. It's just so easy to get sidetracked when modern life is a blur of advertising and entertainment! But I ask myself, if I lived a century or two ago, could not the increased struggle for the basic necessities of life be just as much of a distraction? Remembering to keep the fire stoked may have been replaced by watching an episode of House Hunters on Hulu, but no matter how modern or antiquated my occupation, it is my own mind and heart that allows distractions to creep in.

Ultimately, God is sovereign -- which means He controls the society we live in. And His sovereignty over history also means that He has placed me in 2012 instead of 1812 for a reason. If I really trust in His perfect plan, I will not wring our hands over some imaginary utopia of years past. Instead, I will testify of His mercy and grace to those who are lost and dying.




You can find my theological disclaimer here.

Living Large -- A Review of "Large Family Logistics" by Kim Brenneman

My sweet mother gave me a copy of Large Family Logistics: The Art and Science of Managing the Large Family for my birthday -- at my request, so it wasn't a hint on her part! *wink*

I was really curious about this book, though I thought I was probably getting ahead of myself. After all, though we hope the Lord blesses us with many children, we currently only have one child and one-on-the-way! I wondered if any of its contents would be applicable now, or if I'd have to stow it on the shelf in the hopes that one day I'd actually need it.

However, Kim opens up the preface with this:

"Many years ago, I was the mother of one small baby boy in a little rental house. My husband and I were committed to having me stay at home to raise our little boy. I remember being embarrassed because of the dust, laundry piled up, and dirty dishes, and I scrambled to make something for supper just minutes before my hard-working husband came home. Why couldn't I handle the basics? My shortcomings as a homemaker frustrated me... I was rich compared to women throughout the ages, and I knew it. What was wrong with me?"


As soon as I read that, I knew I was in the right place!

I really appreciate that Mrs. Brenneman starts out with Scriptural examples, attitude, and self-discipline. This is not a gimmicky "Revamp your life in three easy steps" book! There is Scripture sprinkled generously throughout the book, which helped me stay on track as to why these things are important.

Once the foundation has been laid, Mrs. Brenneman goes on to provide advice and ideas on virtually every area of family life. Laundry, cleaning bathrooms, homeschooling, gardening -- it seems that nothing escapes her notice! Much of what she writes is definitely geared for families with many children (as the title suggests), but I found that most of it was still helpful for me. I'd rather implement many of these practices and systems at the beginning, so that should the Lord bless us with many children, our household will continue to function smoothly (apart from the inevitable "bumps" of life, of course). The chapters are generally short and easy to digest, making it simple to either read the book cover to cover or to find a specific topic.

Personally, the book convicted me in a number of areas where I have been falling short due to lack of self-control. I don't mind work per say, but I don't much like work that I find disagreeable! Laundry I can handle, because I like it. I don't generally fall behind. Cleaning bathrooms? Not so much my thing.

There's also the token section on decluttering, which seems to find its way into every book on homemaking these days!  Quite honestly, despite the fact that we're just starting out and don't have a large house, I'm just tired of having so much stuff. Or rather, having more stuff than we need or use is hindering, not helpful. So encouragement in that direction was appreciated.

One aspect of the book that I liked was Kim's flexibility. By that I mean that she doesn't set up some Martha Stewart utopia of perfect housekeeping. She talks about stages in life where disposable plates and cutlery might be what your family needs, or how the systems she describes will need to be tweaked for individual families. I didn't feel that there was a "one right way" mentality to the book, and Kim doesn't put you on a guilt trip if you can't "do it all."

Okay, now for my critiques! Most of them fall under the "trivial" category, in that they don't affect the message of the book.

First, this thing is huge -- I found the layout strange, and the plethora of entirely empty pages was a bit annoying. I love the cover design, but the 8 1/2" by 11" size is rather inconvenient. Insignificant, perhaps, but it made on-the-go reading an impossibility. Forget large family logistics -- let's give a little attention to large book logistics!

Probably my biggest critique was actually the editing! Really, I was astonished by the number of grammatical errors in this book. The most glaring was probably the plural of baby being spelled baby's. But that's just one of many, many errors. I've never seen so many grammatical errors in a published work. I don't blame Kim for this (I don't think being a grammarian should be a prerequisite for writing a book!), but whoever was responsible for editing was very negligent.

My only content-related critique is that I thought the book occasionally falls into an unnecessarily dogmatic tone about areas that really come down to personal preference. As I mentioned before, Kim's advice is generally quite flexible. But there were a few sections that seemed to elevate the author's preferences a tad too high, in my opinion (even when I personally agreed with her preferences). A "this is the only way to do it" attitude tends to rub me the wrong way. Still, I wouldn't consider it a very serious issue, especially since the majority of the book does not come across that way -- and perhaps others would not even agree with me that this is even present in the book. Still, I suppose a book review is inevitably influenced by the reviewer's opinions. *wink*

Now that it's been a while since I read the book (this review has been sitting in my drafts for some time...), I think a re-read is in order. For me, there is no such thing as too much encouragement in the right direction when it comes to homemaking!

A Little Reformation Day Reading

As soon as Little Man goes down for another nap, I'm looking forward to curling up with a cup of Stash organic chai and Through Luther to Liberty: A Story of the Reformation Period by W. Schmidt and L.H. Schuh. It's a lovely little book from 1915 that's had me intrigued since I found it at a library book sale a few years ago. Now to see if it's as good on the inside as it is on the outside...

Happy Reformation Day!

Identity Crisis

Recently I've found myself struggling with the issue of identity. And yes, the title of this post is definitely overkill, since I'm not really in any kind of crisis! Still, the question of identity has definitely been agitating the grey cells of late.

As I pondered the issue, I realized that I've been trying to bolster my ego by fashioning an identity for myself based on externals, on things that make me feel good about myself. This is a very frustrating pursuit, because basing my identity on my status or personal merits only makes me more aware of just how far I fall short.

 

For example?

Well, I can build my identity on being a good wife. The problem is, I struggle daily with selfishness, and I can point to dozens of women that I know who are much better wives than I am. Ouch.

That's okay, I can build my identity on being a good mom. But I can think of so many women who are much better (not to mention more experienced!) mothers than I am. Strike two.

I can define myself by my love of creative home arts like crafting and sewing -- but I can think of several friends off the top of my head who have more creativity and skill in their little fingers than I could ever dream of.

I cloth diaper! See, I am someone special! I'm a frugal, eco-friendly mama... who almost always uses disposable wipes and puts diapers in the dryer more often than I really need to, just because I'm lazy. And then there's the whole defining-yourself-by-what-you-put-on-your-baby's-tush issue, which is really just plain pathetic!

The list can go on an on -- but there will always be people who take better photographs, bake better cookies, keep their homes cleaner (not that I even considered putting that in the running!), etc.

Before you come to the conclusion that I'm horribly depressed and think that I can't do anything, let me assure you that I do not intend this as a pity party! Nor do I think it's a good idea to evaluate my "worth" by the accomplishments of the people around me. Rather, to get to the bottom of this issue, I find it necessary to be perfectly honest with myself, and considering the character and talents of my acquaintances help me realize that I'm not as incredibly amazing as I think I am. That said, my home is not a pig-sty, my marriage is not on the rocks, and I can sew a straight seam! But whenever I try to identify myself based on personal skills or merit, it's a doomed endeavor. And there's a very good reason for that.

Ironically, a few days after I started thinking about this issue, I received a Publix Baby Club newsletter in the mail. Inside was an excerpt from the book What Every Mom Needs. And here's an excerpt of that excerpt:


Moms of young children are consumed with being caretakers. We sacrifice sleep and our own desires and needs to care for a baby. it's not surprising that we sometimes look in the mirror and wonder who we are.

Moms need identity. We know that the "Who am I?" question comes up in every season of life, but for the mothers of young children, the answer gets tangled up with our roles and responsibilities. we need to redefine ourself and find a definition that will sustain us during this season. Though we enjoy what we do, we need to find an indentity that transcends the role of mothering and reminds us of who we used to be and who we still are, in addition to being a mom.


The book was published by Zondervan, so presumably the authors were Christians -- and having not read the whole book, I don't know where the authors were headed. The excerpt goes on to provide questions to help you find your identity, such as listing your favorite activities, your greatest strengths and weaknesses, etc. Quite possibly they were going to put moms on the right track, but judging only from this excerpt, the problem is being recommended as the solution to the issue of identity!

I have to agree with the authors on one point. It's certainly a bad idea to define yourself by your children -- not only is it unhealthy spiritually, but it also saddles your children with the responsibility of living up to your personal expectations, and turns you into a very boring conversationalist!

However, it's just as bad to define yourself based on your "special" characteristics -- God-given though they are. To do so is to worship the creature rather than the Creator. And because we fall short, it also sets us up for certain disappointment.

So who am I, really? I know with certainty that I'm not the best wife, mother, seamstress, cook, writer, or decorator.

Who am I? A child of God, redeemed by the shed blood of His only Son, living in hope because of Christ's resurrection from the dead. That is the only identity worth having, the only identity that cannot be touched by time, circumstances, or the accomplishments (or failures) of others. And because I can't take credit for it, there is a two-fold blessing: not only does it preclude me from focusing selfishly on my so-called "accomplishments," but it also transcends my innumerable failures! What a blessing, what a relief from the horrible pit of both self-love and self-loathing!

I am one for whom Christ died.

The magnitude of that thought is simultaneously exhilarating and humbling. He loved me -- loves me -- enough to die for me, even though my sin made me hopelessly unworthy of that love. That love, which will never fluctuate or lessen, is mine forever.

So why do I want to build an identity based on whether or not I overcooked dinner, or how clean my bathrooms are? Those things are transient. His love is eternal. I should plan healthy meals and clean my home as an outpouring of His love to others, not so that I can win a trophy in the "Homemaking Hall of Fame." When I focus on my performance (which I evaluate by purely earthly standards) I end up moping, convinced that I'll never measure up. And I never will "measure up" on this earth -- not to Martha Stewart's standards, and certainly not to God's standards. But thanks be to God, I don't have to measure up. Christ did that for me!

God has indeed uniquely gifted me, but those gifts are not intended for my personal satisfaction. No, those gifts are to be used for the exact purpose He has for my life. He ordained me to be my husband's wife and my son's mother, all for His glory and our good.

So it's onward and upward, looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith (Hebrews 12:1). Onward and upward, praying that He will free me more and more from my self-obsession and my earthly focus. And praying that I'll feel a bit more motivated to scrub those bathroom floors, while I'm at it!



You can find my Theological Disclaimer here.

UnExpectations

As I transitioned into motherhood, there were a lot of things that I didn't expect -- blessings that left me speechless with gratitude.


I didn't expect to have a pregnancy free of complications.

I didn't expect to have a straightforward, relatively easy birth.

I didn't expect to have a healthy, beautiful son (beautiful in our eyes, anyway!).


It's not that I expected a horrible pregnancy and a sickly child -- but I didn't want to assume that everything would be easy, and I was determined to give all of those expectations to God. I wanted a natural birth so badly, but in a hospital with a C-section rate nearing 40%, I knew there was a possibility that everything wouldn't be "perfect." But whatever happened would be God's will, so I stopped praying for the birth I wanted, and asked instead for grace and contentment no matter what happened. And it happened as I had hoped; only a few details were different than my "ideal," and I can look back with joy and gratitude on the whole experience.



But what I didn't realize was that I did have expectations that I hadn't given to the Lord.


I expected nursing to go well -- not perfectly, but well.

I expected a leisurely two weeks of resting and enjoying our newborn.

I expected to give away the sample can of formula that the hospital gave us.

I had read and researched, and I knew how nursing was supposed to be -- I knew it didn't just come "naturally" (at least for most people), but I thought I was ready to handle any troubleshooting. When I saw our little man's tongue a few hours after birth, I suspected tongue-tie. Not having had the opportunity to examine many infant tongues, though, I thought I was probably wrong. I wasn't. The pain was horrible, and the tongue-tie also prevented our little man from feeding well and getting the nutrition he needed.

And then, on the day we were discharged, little man's bilirubin levels were a touch high. Jaundice makes infants extra sleepy, which certainly hadn't helped with nursing. So after our discharge from the hospital, we had three consecutive days of early morning blood tests and doctor's visits. There went my peaceful time of rest following the birth! And when the levels didn't go down after two days (and nursing consisted of a screaming, arch-backed infant and a very frustrated mother), I listened to our pediatrician and opened that can of formula.

I had been so ready to give up my pregnancy and birth to the Lord, but I didn't realize that I was holding back so much! I was frustrated, emotional, and exhausted. I was terrified that supplementing would ruin all chances of nursing, which was something I was dedicated to doing. Nothing seemed to be going right (because it wasn't going my way).

But little by little, by God's grace and with a great deal of help and perspective from my husband, I began to drop my expectations and see God's hand in our situation. That "evil" formula got rid of the jaundice in no time flat, which meant we didn't need more serious treatment. The nursing gradually improved, and he's been off formula completely for several weeks. And while the tongue-tie can't be fixed until he's two months old, he's healthy and I'm in a lot less pain.



And now, at last, I'm grateful. Grateful that I found out about tongue-tie "by chance" on a blog I don't normally read. Grateful that formula gave us the chance to get back on our feet. Grateful that he can nurse in spite of that faulty frenulum. Grateful that God didn't give me everything I expected, forcing me to seek Him rather than rely on myself.

I wish I had trusted Him from the beginning, rather than trying to rely on my feeble (read "nonexistent") resources. Our challenges certainly aren't over, and every aspect of learning about this new little person is bewildering. But I have to remind myself that when God sends challenges, He also grants the grace to deal with them -- and that grace is sufficient for me!

Procrastination

"No unwelcome tasks become any the less unwelcome by putting them off till tomorrow. It is only when they are behind us and done, that we begin to find that there is a sweetness to be tasted afterwards, and that the remembrance of unwelcome duties unhesitatingly done is welcome and pleasant. Accomplished, they are full of blessing, and there is a smile on their faces as they leave us. Undone, they stand threatening and disturbing our tranquility, and hindering our communion with God. If there by lying before you any bit of work from which you shrink, go straight up to it, and do it at once. The only way to get rid of it is to do it."

~ Alexander MacLaren (1826-1910) ~

This chronic procrastinator is feeling both convicted and inspired by the talk we heard this morning about the importance of time stewardship! Rev. MacLaren's words are so true -- if I postpone unpleassant (but necessary) tasks, all they do is create *extra* stress and anxiety! And that's not something I'm keen on.

So here's to increased diligence in my daily responsibilities, and to being more purposeful in choosing activities that have eternal benefit.

Ecclesiastical Perspective -- Part 2

"He that loveth silver, shall not be satisfied with silver,

and he that loveth riches, shall be without the fruit thereof:

this also is vanity.

When goods increase, they are increased that eat them:

and what good cometh to the owners thereof,

but the beholding thereof with their eyes?

The sleep of him that travaileth, is sweet,

whether he eat little or much:

but the satiety of the rich will not suffer him to sleep."

~ Ecclesiastes 5:9-11 ~

As I mentioned in my last post, I've been mulling over the topic of contentment and the seasons of life for some time now -- particularly as it relates to jealousy and comparison, which are vices that I've struggled with throughout my life.

So far, I have only experienced a few of the many seasons of life. But even in those few seasons, I've realized how easy it is to become discontent with my situation -- and it has nothing to do with how much I am being blessed by God! In his grace, I've never gone hungry, never faced fear or want, never known a true physical need. In fact, He has given me far more than I could ask or think, and infinitely more than I deserve.

No, my discontentment rears its ugly head when I start comparing my current situation with the situations of those around me. No matter what stage of life I'm in, there will always be someone else who seems to be in a better stage; there will always be someone else who seems to be happier and more blessed than I am.


When you're single, others are courting.
Once you're courting, others are engaged.
Once you're engaged, others are married.
Once you're married, others are pregnant.
Once you're pregnant, others have young children.
Once you have young children, others have older children with fewer demands.
Once you have older children, others have grandchildren.


The list could go on and on, and there are hundreds of sub-categories that could be added -- perhaps not being able to have children at all when others have them in abundance, or never even getting married in the first place. Perhaps barely scraping by when others have pantries stocked with luxuries and designer wardrobes. Perhaps a husband who doesn't seem to really care about spiritual things when others have husbands who are spiritual leaders in the church.



The more I realized how much of my discontentment stemmed from comparison to others (i.e., jealousy), the more I realized that my whole system of comparison was entirely skewed! Why? Because when I compare my life in that way, I pick a few blessings from someone else's life that I want in my own. Essentially, I want to be blessed like Suzie in this area, like Mary in that area, and like Jane in another area. I don't covet their *entire* life, just the areas that I personally want.

For example (and all examples I use are entirely fictional, by the way), perhaps "Suzie" is a phenomenal seamstress. So I start to covet Suzie's skills, no longer being content with what God has given to me. But, Suzie has to work outside the home, has a husband who watches TV all evening, and has a fragile relationship with her family. God has put Suzie in a particular situation, which includes both blessings and challenges. If I only covet her blessings, I'm not looking at the whole picture. Essentially, if I could somehow have the chance to be Suzie in one area, I'd have to be Suzie in *every* area. And when it comes down to it, I really wouldn't want to trade being a stay-at-home wife, my loving and attentive husband, and a healthy relationship with my dear family, for all the sewing skills in the world. I don't really want to be Suzie, I'm just isolating and magnifying one of her blessings until it consumes my contentment and blinds me to the blessings I do have.


So for me, one key to minimizing discontentment is Realism. Very often, I look only at others' blessings, ignoring the challenges that they face. This means my focus is on what I don't have, rather than on the innumerable ways that God has blessed me. I have traded the supreme blessing of contentment for an unrealistic, dissatisfying obsession with how "blessed" other people are.

That friend who's engaged or married? Her situation seems so wonderful, but no relationship comes without its heartaches and difficulties.

That friend who has a houseful of young children? It's easy to fixate on the blessing of children, while being blind to the challenges that may accompany that blessing -- everything from exhaustion to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

That friend whose husband is a spiritual leader in the church? Perhaps his theological studies lead him to neglect his family.


Now, I'm not suggesting that every engaged/married couple is miserable, that every young mother is depressed, or that every church leader is secretly a wife-beater! But rather, no matter what it is that I covet in someone else's life, I would not miraculously find contentment if I could somehow attain it. Because attaining that blessing also means attaining a whole new set of challenges, and that would begin the whole cycle of comparison and jealousy all over again!



I love blogging and I love reading the blogs of other like-minded women; I have found it to be such an encouragement in my own life, not to mention an endless source of inspiration! But at the same time, it is very easy to grow discontent in the blog world -- it is much easier to see other people's lives through rose-colored glasses when you only see the parts of their lives that they post about. Personally, I desire to maintain privacy for myself and my family. This is the Internet, after all! So while I do try to be realistic about my life, those who read my blog will never know some of the challenges I face or the sins I struggle with. I have found myself thinking "Oh, it seems like they have such a wonderful life!" many-a-time while perusing my favorite blogs. But I need to realize that while I should be (and am!) happy for the wonderful blessings that my fellow bloggers enjoy, I should not idealize their lives or start comparing my own life to theirs.


Ultimately, no amount of realism can be a "cure" for discontentment -- there is no simple cure, no easy way out, because Contentment is a matter of the heart. But why make it harder on myself by building up unrealistic illusions about other people's lives?


I think of the Psalmist's word in Psalm 16:5-6

"The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup:

thou shalt maintain my lot.

The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places:

yea, I have a fair heritage."

I need to realize that God has blessed me richly in *every* area of my life, and that He has designed my life and my circumstances to bring glory to Himself and blessing to me. He has ordained certain challenges in my life, but I should not want to trade those challenges for any seeming "blessing," because those challenges are actually a blessing and a gift from Him!

I Timothy 6:6-10

"But godliness is great gain, if a man be content with that he hath.

For we brought nothing into the world,

and it is certain, that we can carry nothing out.

Therefore when we have food and raiment,

let us therewith be content.

For they that will be rich, fall into temptation and snares,

and into many foolish and noisome lusts,

which drown men in perdition and destruction.

For the desire of money is the root of all evil,

which while some lusted after, they erred from the faith,

and pierced themselves through with many sorrows."

All of the blessings of this world are fleeting at best -- no book of the Bible makes that quite as clear as Ecclesiastes! So what if I'm not as wealthy as a friend down the street? I can be grateful that I don't have to face as much temptation in the area of wealth. So what if I don't have a house full of young children like a friend from church? I can be grateful that I have more time right now to invest in my marriage and my interests.

Hebrews 13:5

"Let your conversation be without covetousness,

and be content with those things that ye have,

for He hath said,

I will not fail thee, neither forsake thee."

Perhaps some of the blessings that my friends are enjoying now will come to me in time -- accompanied by their corresponding challenges. But if they don't, it will not be because God is somehow blessing my friends more than He is blessing me. I don't need to fret over how He divides up His blessings, because I can trust Him to provide for all of my needs. Yes, some seasons of life will be harder than others. And yes, by tomorrow I will need to be reminded yet again that I need to be content with what I have (actually, forget tomorrow -- I'll probably need a reminder in five minutes!). But God has promised not to fail me or forsake me, and that is a promise that I can rest content in.

You can find my theological disclaimer here.

Ecclesiastical Perspective -- Part 1

The third chapter of Ecclesiastes is perhaps one of my favorite chapters in the Bible:

"To all things there is an appointed time,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

A time to be born, and a time to die:

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted.

A time to slay, and a time to heal:

a time to break down, and a time to build.

A time to weep, and a time to laugh:

a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones:

a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embracing.

A time to seek, and a time to lose:

a time to keep, and a time to cast away.

A time to rent, and a time to sow:

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak.

A time to love, and a time to hate:

a time of war, and a time of peace.

What profit hath he that worketh of the thing wherein he travaileth?

I have seen the travail that God hath given to the sons of men, to humble them thereby.

He hath made everything beautiful in His time:

also He hath set the world in their heart,

yet cannot man find out the work that God hath wrought

from the beginning even to the end.

I know that there is nothing good in them,

but to rejoice,

and to do good in his life.
And also that every man eateth and drinketh,

and seeth the Commodity of all his labor.

This is the gift of God.

I know that whatsoever God shall do, it shall be forever:

to it can no man add, and from it can none diminish:

for God hath done it, that they should fear before Him."

~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-14 ~

What a marvelous picture of God's sovereignty! I find these words so comforting, because they reassure me (though I should need no reassurance) that God is in control of every molecule in the universe, and that His eternal plan *will* be worked out. No person on this planet can control his "destiny," or shift the eternal plan of God. "Whatsoever God shall do, it shall be forever."

I need to memorize these verses, to implant them on my brain -- it's so easy for me to become wrapped up in whatever stage of life I'm in, to forget that God has ordained many seasons in life. And that is the challenge, as I make my way down the balance beam of life. If I hold on too tightly to those enjoyable seasons, my heart begins to grow independent and I become unsuited for the seasons of trial that will come. On the other hand, if I view seasons of trial as endless cycles of pain and hopelessness, my heart begins to doubt God's love and my whole outlook becomes cynical. What I need to do, whatever season I am in, is serve God, work hard, and enjoy the fruits of my labor.



I am grateful for a God who plans the seasons of my life perfectly. Who picks me up every single time I fall off that balance beam. Who gently -- or sometimes sternly -- shows me that I know nothing of His master scheme for this world, that it's not all about me, and that what I need to do is simply trust Him and take the next step.

What if that next step is some important decision? Ecclesiastes lays it out very simply: Serve God, work hard, and enjoy the fruits of your labor. There is no need to fret over the decisions that lie before me, because the plan of God is fixed.

Ecclesiastes frees me from my own self-importance. It reminds me that I will *never* be able to fully understand God's plan for me and for the world. Certainly, I can catch a glimpse of it when I look back in history, and in my own life. But as the Holy Spirit puts it, "yet cannot man find out the work that God hath wrought from the beginning even to the end." He also says a few verses earlier that we are here on this earth to be humbled -- humbled by God's magnificent and unsearchable plans, humbled so that we will fear and worship our Creator.



We are here on this earth for only a short time, because this is not our final destination. So what do we do while we're here? Serve God, work hard, and enjoy the fruits of our labor. The Scriptures tell us that "This is the gift of God." God has given us freedom from fear, and the ability to enjoy His blessings.

It is God who controls my life and the world around me. And that is a supreme and comforting blessing, because that means there is hope. It is the God who brought the world into existence, and redeemed His people by sacrificing His own Son who is calling the shots. And it is that same God, Ecclesiastes says, that has "made everything beautiful in His time." In the meantime, all I am supposed to do is work and wait for the glorious unfolding of God's plan. Because it will be more beautiful than anything I could ever imagine.

All of this rambling, believe it or not, stems from some thoughts I've been mulling over for the past few months on contentment -- which I'll probably share in my next post!


You can find the second part of this post here: Ecclesiastical Perspective -- Part 2

You can find my theological disclaimer here.

Humbling Renewal

"The renewed man

acts

upon new principles,

by new rules,

with new ends,

and in new company.

The believer is created anew; his heart is not merely set right, but a new heart is given him. He is the workmanship of God, created in Christ Jesus unto good works. Though the same as a man, he is changed in his character and conduct.

These words must and do mean more than an outward reformation. The man who formerly saw no beauty in the Saviour that he should desire him, now loves him above all things. The heart of the unregenerate is filled with enmity against God, and God is justly offended with him.

Yet there may be reconciliation.

Our offended God has reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ. By the inspiration of God, the Scriptures were written, which are the word of reconciliation; showing that peace has been made by the cross, and how we may be interested therein.

Though God cannot lose by the quarrel, nor gain by the peace, yet he beseeches sinners to lay aside their enmity, and accept the salvation he offers.

Christ knew no sin.

He was made Sin;

not a sinner,

but Sin,

a Sin-offering,

a Sacrifice for sin.

The end and design of all this was, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him, might be justified freely by the grace of God through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus.

Can any

lose,

labour,

or suffer

too much for Him,

who gave his beloved Son to be the Sacrifice for their sins,

that they might be made the righteousness of God in him?"

~ from Matthew Henry's Commentary on 2 Corinthinans 5:16-21 ~
all emphases mine

Bridal Festivities

About a month ago, the sweet ladies in our church hosted a bridal tea for me -- what a memorable, special day! I'm trying to savor these once-in-a-lifetime moments, these precious times spent with my dear friends and family. Like the devotional that a friend of ours gave at a shower that she hosted for me: knowing that I had heard and studied the traditional Bible verses on marriage many times before, she focused instead on what she had learned from marriage. It was Biblically grounded, practical, and absolutely invaluable!

I'm grateful for the community of Godly women who have supported and encouraged me, who have taught me so much over the years without even knowing it.

One word? Blessed.



Thank you to my sister for the first photo in this post!

Owning Things or Things Owning You

Hannah over at Cultivating Home has written a wonderful post about "stuff." How is it that even in the Christian community, I've never heard this perspective on whether or not to keep something?

~ Owning Things or Things Owning You ~

What a good reminder of how we should use God's physical gifts -- and that it's not all about me! It's given me fresh vision for getting rid of those things that aren't blessing anyone but me (not that clutter "blesses" me anyway!), or that won't be a blessing to my future family! I hope you are as encouraged by it as I was.

Review: Noble Rose Press Paper Dolls

I have only entered a few giveaways in my life, and when I do I never expect to win. I'm the type who considers how unlikely it is that my name would be picked, so I usually decide that it's not worth the trouble. But this giveaway was worth the trouble. And wouldn't you know it, I won!



Dawn over at My Home Sweet Home hosted a giveaway of the new Daughters of His Story paper dolls from Noble Rose Press.



These have to be the most beautiful paper dolls I've ever seen -- they're realistic, yet beautifully whimsical.



I've had the pleasure of meeting both Breezy and Emily Rose -- they're incredibly sweet, and incredibly talented!



It's so delightful to see their talents combined and used in such a wonderful way! The paper dolls are just the right size, are beautifully designed and presented, and come with historical information. And the dresses that go with them are both modest and lovely! But don't take my word for it -- see what others are saying, or better yet, see them in person!



Five stars, two enthusiastic thumbs up, A+ -- none of the typical signs of "approval" seem to do justice to Breezy and Emily Rose's work! These paper dolls are going to be lovingly kept in my theoretical hope chest, saved for the little girls I hope the Lord gives me one day. And if there are more collections to come in the future -- as I'm hoping there are -- they'll be joining the three I already have!

This Life

I discovered this quotation today, and found it both refreshing and challenging. Its eloquence reminds me of poetry, and it certainly has the potency of poetry! I hope you find it as encouraging as I did.


This life, therefore, is
not righteousness but growth in righteousness,
not health but healing,
not being but becoming,
not rest but exercise.

We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it;
the process is not yet finished but it is going on;
this is not the end but it is the road.
All does not yet gleam in glory but all is being purified.

~ Martin Luther ~

The Best Kind of Garment

"I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, and my soul shall be joyful in my God: for He hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, and covered me with the robe of righteousness: He hath decked me like a bridegroom, and as a bride attireth herself with her jewels." ~ Isaiah 61:10 ~

The Wedding Procession by Sir Luke Fildes

As much as I love sewing, historic costume, and design, the temporary garments that I make are nothing to the ones that Christ has given me. Only His covering will never tear or stain or wrinkle; only His robes fit perfectly. I find it so easy to get caught up in the everyday cares of life, disregarding the eternal gift I have been given and spending too much of my time on temporal pursuits. But, in truth, I should take as much care and time on my spiritual well-being as I would for my wedding attire if I were a bride. Something for me to think about as I deal with a limited traveling wardrobe!

A Theological Disclaimer

Welcome to my blog! It is my hope and prayer that your visit here will be a blessing to you, and that the love of Christ will be evident in every post you read.

I usually confine my blog topics to sewing projects, tutorials, photographs, quotations, and little bits of everyday life. However, sometimes I do post on spiritual matters, and it is for that reason that I offer this "disclaimer."


1. It is not my intention to set myself up as any kind of spiritual teacher or guide. Titus 2 speaks of older women mentoring younger women -- currently I am in the position of one who needs mentoring, not one with the experience and maturity necessary to teach others!


2. The Internet offers no accountability. I choose what I post about myself -- therefore, any spiritual statements I make cannot be evaluated on the basis of my personal conduct. In "real life," you have opportunity to observe a person's conduct and character, and take that into account when listening to their advice. For instance, I would probably mistrust child-rearing advice from someone whose children are out of control! On the Internet, you do not have the luxury of seeing the outworking of a person's ideas and beliefs.


3. I seek to limit myself to personal application. Essentially, when I post about spiritual matters I try to share what the Lord has done in my life, rather than try to "convert" others to my specific doctrinal views. I share with the hope that my thoughts and experience may prove helpful or thought-provoking to those who may be reading, but not with the intention of bringing them around to my point of view.


4. "Internet theology" can be very dangerous. While I have personally benefited from many blogs and online resources, the Internet has also made it very easy for people to publish their religious ideas -- some of them are true, and some are quite dangerous. Scripture should be our guide for faith and practice, and the local church has also been ordained by God to minister the Word to believers. Every idea should be checked with Scripture, and it also wise to seek to the advice of Godly parents or mentors.


5. I do not intend to claim that my views are the only right interpretations of Scripture. I know there are many varying beliefs within the body of Christ, and I am not suggesting that my family's beliefs are somehow better than someone else's. While our family holds convictions based on what we believe the Bible to teach, I fully acknowledge that others will search the Scriptures and come to other conclusions. So please don't be offended if I present an idea contrary to yours, and please know that I am not seeking to condemn!


6. I believe in the Reformed Doctrines of Grace, perhaps best laid out in the Westminster Confession of Faith. This may be helpful to know when reading my posts, since this understanding of Scripture will naturally influence my writing.