Loafers and Loss

With some scrap brown linen on hand (salvaged from a $1 thrift store dress), I decided to whip up another pair of tiny TOMS, using Leisha's marvelous pattern. I actually purchased the pattern to get all of the sizes, because they're just too cute to make in one size!

The constructions process was smoother, since I worked out my desired alterations last time. I do get frustrated working with such small pieces (they're so fiddly!), but the result is worth the effort.

I must say that I think the sizing might be a bit off? And my children have tiny feet! I'd definitely measure to be sure you make the right size (compare to a store sizing chart if you're making a pair for someone else). In any case, these will be ready for the wee feet that are currently occupied with creating strange bulges in my midsection.

I have a habit of pulling my elastic pretty tight -- I'm always so afraid that little shoes will slip off! I guess I'll have
to wait to find out whether or not that was a good decision...

Sewing helps pass the time until our little one joins us. The waiting seems endless, and I think that's partly because my last pregnancy ended so abruptly. It just kind of feels like I've been pregnant forever, and I should already be there. Today marks a year since our miscarriage -- it's strange to think that so much time has passed, when in some ways it feels like yesterday. There are so many emotions to feel.

The sheer pain of loss.
Longing for the baby girl that would be six months old by now.
Gratitude for the new life growing within me.
Joy at the prospect of his coming arrival (Lord willing).

It's an unreconcilable set of emotions; this baby boy that we love so much would not exist if we had not lost our sweet daughter, but it doesn't make her loss easier. Thanks be to God that I do not have to reconcile those emotions; grief and joy are somehow mixed in this muddled up world of ours, and by His grace (and grace alone) I need only trust in His plans.

And so, a new year is upon us -- with a baby and a move on the horizon (probably both before the end of March), it's looking to be an adventurous one! I pray that God will give you peace as this worn out year draws to a close, and joy as the new year begins.

For My thoughts are not your thoughts, 

neither are My ways your ways, 

declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, 

so are My ways higher than your ways, 

and My thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV)