Home Stretch

With the end of the year looming and our move not far behind, everything feels a bit blurred. We still have a list of last-minute house projects to finish so we can rent out our home (though we've made some significant dents in it lately -- thanks Dad!), and somehow the list of handmade Christmas gifts did get finished. I'm breathing deep, knowing that everything that needs to be done will be done. 

Beautiful Belle Isle in Richmond

Our next destination will be quite different to our current "view," and I've spent the past few months soaking up the changing foliage (though the leaves had still not changed much when I took these photos in late October). We even had a snow flurry a few weeks ago! 

I'm enjoying my children so much these days, which I think is due to a shift in my attitude more than a change in them. Laddie's personality is blossoming, and now that he is speaking more I love to hear what his little three-year-old mind comes up with. Scout is walking everywhere now, and amusing us with his mischievous antics (full disclosure: I'm not always amused. His love for books is encouraging, but currently results in damage or destruction...). And Little Man and Rosa are growing by leaps and bounds. It's such a delight to teach them and watch their minds absorb new concepts, though at the same time it's terrifying as a parent to realize that I can't fix them. Which shouldn't be surprising, considering that I can't "fix" myself, either. I'm learning (slowly) to trust the One who can save and sanctify them, rather than relying on my own efforts.

Waiting for Daddy after a detachment

It's a season of surrender for me just now.

Surrendering my idea of how my family should look (I certainly never planned two miscarriages when "writing" my story) and accepting that God has a plan for us far better than any I could concoct.

Surrendering my desire to have everything planned out and accepting that our nebulous housing options at our new duty station will be just fine, no matter where we end up living.

Surrendering that I can't control my children's hearts and minds and accepting that I'm just called to be faithful in training and loving them, day in and day out, without guarantees that I'll get the "results" I hope for.

While it may be painful, it's good to be reminded of my dependence on God; it's easy to think that I've got it all under control when life seems "good" to me, but that illusion is (mercifully) shattered when life starts coming apart at the seams.

I find myself hoping that 2019 will be less difficult and painful for our family in many ways -- but regardless of what the year holds in store, I know that the Lord will work everything for His glory and our good, and I can't really ask for more than that.

.:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:.

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,  and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.

Romans 5:1-6